Who texts first?
"I always text first" is one of the most common complaints about any friendship or relationship, and memory is a bad judge of it. Open a chat export and count it: who starts your conversations, and how often. Free, no login, and the file never leaves your browser.
Also in: Español · Português · Bahasa Indonesia
Get the chat file
- WhatsApp on iPhone: open the chat, tap the name at the top, then Export Chat and Without Media.
- WhatsApp on Android: in the chat, tap ⋮, More, Export chat, Without media.
- Telegram: in Telegram Desktop, open the chat, click ⋮, Export chat history, and pick Machine-readable JSON. Details on the Telegram chat analyzer page.
- Instagram: request your messages in JSON from Accounts Center, Your information and permissions, Download your information. Every step is on the Instagram chat analyzer page.
Choose the file above. The summary says who starts the most conversations, and the Starts column shows everyone's count and share.
How "texting first" is counted
A conversation starts with the first message after 6 or more hours of quiet. Whoever sent that message gets the credit. Six hours is long enough that a lunch break doesn't split one conversation into two, and short enough that "good morning" after a night's sleep counts as a new start.
Two things follow from that rule. People who talk all day have fewer, longer conversations, so the counts are lower but the share still means the same. And the very first message in the export counts as a start, which only matters in a short chat.
Reading your result
- Around 50/50: you both reach out. That's the pattern most people hope to see.
- 60/40 or so: normal for most pairs. One of you is the morning person, the planner or the one with more free time.
- 80/20 or more for months: worth noticing, not panicking about. Check the other numbers too: if the quieter starter still replies quickly and at length, they may just not be an initiator. If their replies are slow and short as well, the chat is probably one-sided.
These are rough bands from reading chats, not research thresholds: no study we know of sets a "healthy" share. What counts is whether the two of you are happy with it. If you've decided to say something, how to keep in touch with friends has ways to raise it without keeping score, and attachment styles and texting explains why one person counts and the other never notices.
Your chat stays on your device
The counting happens in your browser. The page doesn't upload, save or share the file, and it sets no cookies. To check, load the page, turn off Wi-Fi, then open your export: it still works.
Questions
How does it decide who texted first?
Each time someone writes after 6 or more hours of quiet, that message starts a new conversation, and it's credited to whoever sent it. The result is each person's share of all the conversations in the chat.
Does texting first mean someone likes you more?
Not on its own. Who texts first follows habits as much as feelings: who wakes up earlier, who has the quieter job, who's the planner. It means more when it changes, or when it's lopsided for months and one of you has started to mind.
Should I stop texting first to see if they text me?
It rarely tells you much, because the other person doesn't know a test is running. If the balance bothers you, saying so lightly ("I feel like I always start our chats, I'd love to hear from you more") gets you a real answer faster.
Does it work for group chats?
Yes. Every member gets their own count of conversations started and their share, which shows who keeps the group going.
Which chats can it read?
WhatsApp exports from iPhone or Android, Telegram Desktop's JSON export, and Instagram's message download in JSON. iMessage has no export a browser can read.
Is my chat uploaded?
No. The file is read and counted on your own device. Nothing is uploaded, saved or shared, and the page sets no cookies.